Reed Family 2024 In Review

And thoughts on letter-less Christmas cards. (This is the opposite.)

A year ago we discovered my mother-in-law had been sending out annual Christmas cards and we had never made her mailing list. We have a playful relationship so of course I immediately started shaming her for not including us, especially in light of the fact that she was distributing photos of the world’s cutest grandchildren without their consent. (Granted that argument didn’t hold weight since I distribute photos and videos of those same kids without their consent daily on Instagram. I’ll pay for it one day, but until then…)

This year we visited my in-laws in Vermont and once again I discovered another letter had gone out and we still hadn’t made the Christmas card nice-list. There were mumblings from Nana about an international stamp, but I still wasn’t buying it. Then she tried to make the argument that my generation only sends out a card with no letter or note—just a picture.

That’s where the debate took a turn.

She was RIGHT and I wholeheartedly agreed with the disappointment of getting a Christmas card only to find the same photo I saw in a brighter high-res version on Instagram a week ago. That’s why I have a strong commitment to a no-card without a letter policy. I have never sent a letter-less Christmas card because, call me old fashioned, but I want to know every detail about your child’s grades, hobbies and where in Florida you wintered. I, in kind, will tell you the same. One of my favorite Christmastime activities (Matt’s too, which is why we are soulmates) is to sit by a roaring fire and read all the letters sent to my parents or my in-laws and read about a family I do or don’t know. I love real mail and I especially love the ones that are printed out on 8.5x11 with full color pictures of your trip to Yosemite. The people who hand write more than one paragraph are, in my opinion, pioneers of preserving an almost-lost art.

Before I get all high and Christmas Card mighty, let me just say that the downside to my commitment is that I don’t mail cards each year. Procuring people’s new addresses is something I leave for Matt to do because I loathe it so deeply, not to mention that to send out 300+ cards (we still use our wedding invite list) is the equivalent of a family trip to Disneyland.

But the reason, I think, our generation doesn’t feel the need to do the letters as vigilantly as Nana’s generation, is probably the same reason our generation rarely makes phone calls to “catch up.” I noticed when we were in Vermont how many of my in-laws’ friends called the land line to check in and see how the holidays were going or just to chat. I loved that so much. I had a few texts from friends but no one was calling just to call. It’s a lost art I hope to play a part in reviving in 2025.

My generation doesn’t have the “catch-up” habit because so many of us already know what is going on in each other’s lives due to social media, email or the new-blog-of-the-moment: Substack.

So without further ado, I will now counter my generation’s no-letter-Christmas-card mailings with a no-card-2024-monthly-review of our children’s lives, professional successes and Floridian-esque travel updates. [Mutters to myself something about international stamps.]

Nana, this letter is for you and for all of you who love those long detailed Christmas card updates from people you may or may not personally know.

NOTE: For the full effect, please print out at home, make a nice tri-fold so it has the “straight from the envelope” feel, make a cup of something hot and sit down by the fire.

2024 REED REVIEW

JANUARY:

• Matt had pneumonia which, for several weeks I did not believe because I lack empathy towards any talk of illness coming from his mouth. Eventually he asked me to take his temperature and the thermometer said he had a temperature of 104 degrees Fahrenheit. For most un-empathetic wives, this would be the moment of apologising and running to get a cool cloth to wipe his brow. Instead, I got a second thermometer, assuming the first had broken.

• Emerson was chosen to take his class “Dou-Dou” (what they call special stuffed animals in France) home for a weekend of adventure. Emerson taught “Leon the Lion” how to paint.

• I ran a workshop on writing Children’s books from the gorgeous backdrop of the American Library in Paris.

FEBRUARY:

• Our annual Reed Retreat had us bringing newborn Fern along and she wasn’t mad about hotel living. (More on that in this post.)

• Another annual tradition was having our valentines dinner at a mall foodcourt. But when you live in Paris and Galleries Lafayette is your “mall” it’s not exactly Bourbon Chicken and Orange Julius-level dining the way the tradition started.

• I held my third Women Work and Wine event which is a passion project I started to help women “friendship network” and overcome creative, personal and professional obstacles. And to drink wine.

• Went to a party that had Face-painting and became a family of Foxes. Except Fern.

MARCH

• Matt attended class at Oxford and took time to meet with an author I represent, Dr. Amy Orr-Ewing and her husband Frog (great name and a great human) to tour their farm in Buckinghamshire and learn about hedgerows; as one does.

• Hours after Matt left France for the U.K. Millie stabbed herself in the cornea with scissors. Sometimes I have overly emotional responses to traumatic events, but I am now convinced I only have overly emotional responses when Matt is in the same room. If he’s out of the country I am a cool cucumber.

• I launched my Substack on a whim because I had so many authors asking me what I thought of it as a writing platform. So I thought I’d “do my own research.” I couldn’t recommend it enough! If you have a newsletter to send or miss the old days of blogging, Substack is your jam!

• BOUGHT A USED BIG RED VAN AND THE KIDS NAMED IT PUDDLE.

Q1 of the Reed Review

APRIL

• My friend, bridesmaid and fellow muu-muu wearer, Liz Bohannon came to visit for 24 hours and the kids automatically loved her. Since Liz and I used to love twinning and now Millie and I love to twin, it was only fitting I let the two of them twin. (More accurately, they chose to twin and I was voted off the island.)

• Matt spoke in London at a finance conference and his public speaking coach didn’t realize how attracted she would be to a bearded man in a lanyard.

• Michael and Melissa Wear came through Paris and we took them to an all cheese restaurant because nobody has ever complained about that. Conversation and lactose levels were rich.

• Took Puddle the Van to stay at our first farm of the year. A cow farm with a very friendly dog named Loustic who slept uninvited outside the kids door. (Now that I think about it I bet the kids did invite him).

• I accidentally dressed Millie up like Cher from Clueless.

MAY

• Matt was selected as a finalist for a prestigious internal award at his company called “The Pulse Prize” for innovation. To win they would have to pitch their project in front of a panel of judges. All finalists had to enter a pitch boot camp which Matt kindly said I could run. It was full of improv exercises and communication skills that are my love language. Only obstacle for his company hiring me to do something like this is the whole “French language” thing… [Insert Debbie Downer music]

• Emerson “Scooter with Reckless Abandon” Reed blew up his index finger by braking headfirst into gravel. 8 hours in the E.R. followed by surgery with general anaesthesia the next day was not the mid-May adventure we had been expecting. Matt was present for this injury, so unlike Millie’s scissors to the Cornea, I was able to freak out a bit more.

• Another bridesmaid of mine came to visit, Stephanie Tol, who brought her daughter Brynn to Paris to see Taylor Swift. For those of you who were looking at T. Swift tickets in the US, it was actually cheaper to fly from Portland Oregon to Paris and see the show than it was to see her in the U.S. I jumped on that bandwagon and attended the concert with them. Our tickets were standing for the entire event and while I was greatly impressed with Taylor’s ability to sing and dance for 3 hours, I was greatly unimpressed with my 42 year old back’s inability to stand that long and watch. A decision was made that day that henceforth I will only attend concerts where I have the ability to sit.

JUNE

• Kids started swim lessons and took to it like the proverbial fish to water.

• We went to Disneyland for Emerson’s birthday. He was confident he wanted to meet Spiderman and go on the virtual reality Spiderman ride. His little sensitive soul could not handle it and we spent the ride with him screaming to make it stop. Whoops!

• Matt spent an evening at the British embassy for some work related matter and I unfortunately could not attend but was very jealous since there was a “Queen/King” only chair that I was dying to sit in when no MI6 were watching…

• Matt and I attended the wedding of my dear friend Pauline’s brother. It was our first French wedding, which, if you’ve ever been an expat anywhere, you know is a big deal. These celebrations go all night and we enjoyed oysters, champagne, dinner starting at 9:30, and us being some of the first to leave at 3:30am. The grandparents stayed later than we did. Rock on French Granny, rock on!

Q2 of the Reed Review

JULY

• Matt (who you wouldn’t necessarily peg for competitive, but he actually is) wins the Pulse Prize and gets the award from the CEO of his small, 179,000-employee company.

• The first week of July, Matt’s parents came to meet us in Oxford for Matt’s graduation to recieve his AI in Business diploma. If your company needs someone to give counsel on this topic, he’s your guy! We also enjoyed a tour of Oxford by another author I represent, Dr. David Bennett, who served the kids their first real British Tea party and gave us private tours of hard to get into places like Keeble College Chapel. Millie started the application process when we weren’t looking.

• Later in July, back in Paris the Olympics were upon us and we wanted to get out of Dodge. To continue our research on alternative ways of living, we headed to our second farm of the year. It was a wild ride for many reasons that you can read about here. We increased our city kids’ contact with animals this month by 4,972 percent.

AUGUST

• We went to a lesser known area of Southern France that we affectionately call “The Hippies’ Provence”. My parents came to meet us and brought my 10 year old niece Ada with them. Our kids were in cousin heaven with nightly song and dance routines. Millie was nervous to sing (because she’s a perfectionist and if she doesn’t know the song, she won’t be bothered to perform) so Ada recommended that Millie be the M.C. — I could not have been happier. Every night Millie said breathily into the mic, “If you need to go the bathroom, you must go now. Once the performance starts you can NOT go to the bathroom.” Master of ceremonies, and master of potty protocol. I loved it.

• We were surprised to find out that our long term renters in our Portland home were giving their 30 days notice. We needed to make a decision if we were going to try and get new renters in ASAP or get the house ready to sell.

SEPTEMBER

• We decided to sell our first home. The only home we’ve ever owned together. The obstacle was that it was September and the house needed a lot of work. If you’ve ever been to Portland in the fall, unending rain doesn’t exactly give the "curb appeal someone might want for selling or the weather conditions for putting on a new roof, deck or much-needed landscaping.” But I went into project manager mode on speed and with the help of our incredible real estate agents at Home Team Realty, we got that puppy on the market the first week of October with an offer after the first showing. It was more of a rollercoaster than that last sentence would lead you to believe. I’m sure you don’t want me to get into the nitty gritty of us going back and forth with the interested party, a sale seemingly falling through, then back on and sold to the original party. And I’m sure you don’t want me to get into he details about how in December the new owners wanted to Zoom with us to talk not only about the house but living abroad. Of course I said yes and on the call I found out that they are “Cat Influencers” and have built a “Catio” off our old kitchen. Oh, you don’t know what a Catio is? Neither does my computer because I’ve tried to write it 10x and it keeps changing it back to CAT. I had to ask the the new owners of our old house what a Catio was and, as I had not imagined, it is a patio for cats. But think bigger. It’s the same trim, siding and roofing as the main house but is attached to the house by a cat door for free range cat living. But then on the outside it has it’s own human door and staircase for when the human servants come to clean the Catio, of course. I was amazed and impressed and the new owners invited us over for dinner if we are ever back in Portland and I will 110% be there to dine in or next to the Catio. I’m sure you won’t want to hear about all that, but I’ll be telling you.

• Millie started a new school in Paris and the twelve minute commute by foot was much more than her dainty little feet could take so we got an electric scooter so I didn’t have to hear her complaining and now I pick her up and we ride it home with her propped in front of me. We have some of my favorite chats on our little commute. The clinic where Millie was born is on our way home and she always wants to scoot past it so we yell to all the new babies, “Welcome to the world! We’re happy you’re here!”

• Emerson started back at his same school which is seven steps from our apartment, give or take. Even with his scooter accident he still rides his non-electric Spiderman scooter like a maniac and leaves it at the front gate like all the other Paris kids.

• We’ve gotten to September and I realized we’ve said barely a thing about Fern. Third child syndrome. She's so great we sometimes forget about her.

• Matt received French citizenship in January which automatically gave the kids citizenship as well. He was able to vote and attend some ceremonies, most notably one where we met the Paris Mayor, Anne Hildago at the Hotel de Ville.

• Our friend Molly Maxiner from Portland came to visit. She and her little fam are now expats in Amsterdam so it was fun to connect and swap stories of PDX and expat livin!

• We went to see the Track and Field Paralympics and I was moved to tears multiple times. Truly inspiring and if you ever get a chance to attend the Olympics, Paralympics is next level.

Q3 of the Reed Review

OCTOBER

• Back during our August vacation with my parents, through connections we had made over the years of visiting the same spot in southern France over and over—we were shown a property that was too good to be true. I loved it, Matt loved it, my father loved it and, most importantly, my mother loved it. Matt and I went back down in October for a quick trip to look at it again, meet with farmers, (more on that in a future post) and dream about what could be. Together with my parents, we decided to move forward and make it a place for my dad to write and for my parents to have more time with their French grandkids, (the French school system has two weeks off every six weeks), a place for me to let my authors come and work on their books and of course, many more nights of Millie playing the role of M.C. Toilet Master.

• I ran another month-long writing cohort which is one of my favorite things to do. Besides getting a lot of writing done in a short amount of time, people become life long friends. Through my career journey thus far, I’ve realized how much I enjoy gathering people. Whether it’s in-person events, workshops or online writing cohorts, it fills me up to connect people. Matt is similar in this trait and while we don’t know exactly how that will play out for us as a couple, we are trying to pay attention. I mean, professional matchmakers anyone?! Send us your bios.

• Halloween is not as big of a deal in France as it is in the U.S. so we joined a little event the American Library was putting on and capitalized on Emerson’s love of Tennis. Emerson and Millie were pro tennis players, Matt was the Roland Garros ref, I was a celebrity attending the match and Fern was, of course, a tennis ball.

NOVEMBER

• Matt traveled to Marseille for a work off site. No injuries on the Homefront.

• Fern peaked at 16 months when she ate a pancake the size of her head. We won’t be able to make life any more exciting for her. (Well, until she meets Maple Syrup.)

• We had a smattering of other visitors throughout the year, one of which was Elizabeth Passerella, a fellow mother of three who lives in a big city and her third baby slept in the laundry room for the better portion of their early years. Fern, who sleeps in our shower room, felt seen and known. We were thankful to see so many friendly faces in Paris this year. It was good for our soul!

DECEMBER

• Our wonderful neighbors had us over for the kids’ first raclette. If you haven’t had, and you like melted cheese, it’s a tradition worth starting immediately.

• Emerson got his tonsils out and was once again, under the knife. I had the same surgery when I was seven so I was able to be his shining example of tonsil-free living, but I think all he could focus on was “endless ice cream.” He came out of surgery like a person who had just gotten back from war and “seen some things” but a nap and one balloon animal from a low-budget hospital clown later and he was BACK. If I could bounce back from a bad night’s sleep the way Emerson bounces back from general anaesthesia and an organ being removed, I’d get a lot more done in this life.

• Fern was delighted by all the Paris Christmas decorations.

• Punchline Agency had its best year on many levels and I continue to be so thankful for the creatives and communicators we have the privilege of knowing and cheering on.

• I discover the greatest mom hack by putting an eye mask on Fern when traveling during daylight hours when she needs to nap and is accustomed to black out shades. Mom hack or developing a diva?

• We decided to go back to Vermont to be with Matt’s family for Christmas. Our kids had tons of cousin togetherness. We also fulfilled Matt’s dream of taking the kids skiing with his dad at the place where Matt first learned to ski. We are so glad we made the trek even though between all the cousins and adults we were hit with rotating cases of pink eye, one pneumonia, one RSV, multiple gastro attacks (impacting victims on both ends) and one broken eye blood vessel that was hard to make eye contact with. It wasn’t a pretty vacation, but it was a beautiful time together and that’s what matters most.

  

  

  

  Q4 of the Reed Review

Nana, I hope you enjoyed reading this “Christmas Card” as much as Matt and I enjoyed walking down memory lane. Have we done enough to get on your list now?

Love,

Joy on behalf of Matt, Millie, Emerson and the other one…